“Super Bowlness” Wings

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Not quite as saucy as the final product should look…. I think this was near the end of the batch!

 First of all, I hope you’re wearing socks while reading this, because they are about to get knocked off.  And, if you’re not wearing socks, well, I don’t know what will happen… so please go get some socks… I’ll wait…

        Alright, are you wearing socks now?  Great, we can begin!

        Before I divulge my deepest darkest secret recipe (it’s more coveted than Bush’s Baked Beans – atleast I like to pretend that it is, and I didn’t tell my dog how it’s done, so I’m pretty well protected there…)  I have a question.  What color are your socks?  Just joking!!  It’s actually a much more personal, and you don’t have to answer outloud, you can keep it to yourself.  Think back in your life, to how many times you’ve ordered wings.  Coulda’ been Buffalo, BBQ, Honey-BBQ,  Spicy, Sweet & Spicy, Buffalo Ranch, Sweet & Sour, Chipotle, Cajun, Honey Garlic, Teriyaki, Thai Chili, Mild, Medium, Hot, Firey Pits of Hell, OMGWTFBBQ, or any other flavor one could possibly conceive… Now think of how much you’ve probably spent in your lifetime on all of those wings!  The average wing (in dirty jerzee, atleast) will run you anywhere from as much as $1.19 each to as little as $.25 each.  Typically the more you order the lower the price goes.  $5.99 for 5 wings, and $15.99 for 30 at my local pizza joint.  $.25 is usually only seen during a special such as ‘Happy Hour’ at your local watering hole, and even then that’s abnormally low.

        Considering the economy we are in, I don’t know about you, but I can’t justify selling a kidney to support my latest appetizer addiction.  I’ve been craving wings HARDCORE lately, and no I’m not pregnant =)  I am, however, breastfeeding, which I have read can lead to intense cravings as well!  Anyhow, enough bunny trails, onto the good stuff.  They say (who are they by the way? let me know if you find out…)  that necessity is the mother of invention, and boy oh boy is that true!  I NEEDED some wings for the Super Bowl.  (Note:  I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials and the food.  We planned to order some pizza & wings for the big game, but after looking at the “sales” flyers we were slightly disappointed, realizing that we wouldn’t be able to remortgage our house in time to purchase everything our hearts (ie: stomachs) desired.  This is where the light bulb came on.  This is where greatness is born.  THIS is where miracles happen, my friends.  Yes, it’s that serious.

        OK, so after doing a brief internet search (3hours17minutes worth roughly) I came to several conclusions.

1. Google is stalking me and my purchases, and likes to rub my Amazon Wish List in my face on nearly every banner of every webpage I visit.
2. My nursling likes to pop off every 15 seconds and check to see what I’m doing online.
3. This is the only one that pertains to this topic so pay attention.  None of these recipes would do!

        Now, as many of you know, I like to re-purpose things, and this includes recipes!  I don’t really consider it stealing because I find several recipes that I love, and combine the best of all of their delicious world’s, and then I add my own spin, and Voila!  It’s mine! =)  In this instance, my mother-in-law and I created this delicious recipe together!

        I’d like to introduce you to my Super Bowlness Wings™.  This is obviously a play on words, a clever one that I totally created myself, and I like to pretend that I trademarked it by putting a ™ after the name, however I didn’t shell out the cash for that, so I’ll just hope no one steals my thunder until I can afford the actual ™.  Also, I just want you to know that they can be made Bone-In or Bone-Out.  The only difference is the bone.  Honestly.  How beautiful is that?

        Now that you’re salivating, your stomach is growling, and you’re just about ready to lick your screen, I will give you what you came here for.

        Ingredients:

• 40 chicken wings (frozen & defrosted or fresh) OR chicken breast cut into ‘wing’ size
• 8-10 cups of vegetable oil in a deep fryer
• 2 cups of flour
• salt & pepper to taste
• 1 tablespoon of garlic powder
• 1 cup of red-wine vinegar
• 1 chipotle pepper (in adobo sauce) and 2 tablespoons of the sauce
• 1.5 tablespoons of chili powder
• 1 tablespoon of smoked paprika
• 1 tablespoon of white sugar
• 2 tablespoons of brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons of honey mustard
• 2 tablespoons of honey
• 1 stick of butter, chopped in eigths
• 2 tablespoons of cornstarch
• 1/4 cup of filtered, cold water

        Directions:

1. Heat up your oil in the deep fryer now, so it’s nice n hot when you are ready!
2. Mix flour, salt, pepper, & garlic powder in a large bowl.  Add wings, toss around until coated well.  After that, you can either leave them in the bowl, or transfer to a cookie sheet/plate until ready to fry – and place them in the fridge to chill a bit while you do the next step!
3. Add chipotle pepper & adobo sauce to a blender until smooth puree.
4. Mix red-wine vinegar, adobo puree, chili powder, & sugars to a medium saucepan, and bring to a simmer.  Simmer 30 seconds.
5. Add honey mustard, honey, and butter.  Stir until melted.
6. Mix together cold water & cornstarch.  Mix into sauce w/ a whisk just until mixture thickens a bit.
7. Set sauce aside.
8. Bring out your wings.  Fry about 5-6 at a time, for anywhere from 3-5 minutes until golden brown and crispy.  Remove to brown paper bag, paper towels, or a rack to drain.
9. At this point you can douse the wings in the sauce a little at a time, as you finish frying them, or you can wait until they’re all fried.  They stay hot for quite awhile =)
10. Enjoy!

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